Ghosts of Mars (John Carpenter, 2001)

Of course, Jeff Imada did the fight choreography. It's solid, but Natasha Henstridge made me wish Sandra Bullock was the star here, and I use "star" quite loosely. Anyone with an ounce of sex appeal or stage presence would've been better in the "lead" role. There are no A-listers when there should be at least one, or a girl with higher sex appeal at least. All I got was Ice Cube & Jason Statham, who provide the only charisma for this film, aside from the goofy machete-wielding presence of the crazies.

The situation, however, writes this curious tale into a corner. In most shows, when a hero is put into a seemingly inescapable position, they must escape SOMEHOW for the show to continue. Even after they do manage to flee their captors, the viewer must wonder, "why'd they bother doing that bit in the first place?" It is tiresome and cliched. With "Ghosts of Mars", one has to wonder why it intentionally limits itself instead of growing into something that is far more captivating.

Just how could the heroes ever defeat this mystical "ghostly" parasite? At one point, the most knowledgeable person of the plague doesn't even have a response to that question. Even worse films leave their hero with some hope of a victory.

What are these people fighting for, and why are they always fighting 200 of these crazy beasts? Do these maniacs breed as fast as they run? Better yet, why not just heed the warning of the "ghosts" and go back to Earth? Mars can't be all it's cracked up to be if you're constantly being overrun by maniacs that love throwing razor sharp discs at people.

Don't get me wrong; "Ghosts of Mars" is better than I remember from the first viewing years ago. I completely forgot it had Jason Statham in it (of whom I'm a big fan), but he's underused here and let's just say character depth is duller than the red pigment of the planet.

I was also annoyed by the forgettable nature of the film. Yes, it's a John Carpenter flick and it has all of the feelgood action film touches, like the good guys being pinned down, gun battles galore, and some humor.

But what else does it actually offer? Unlike Aliens, it has no redeeming quality. 'Humans are stupid and should be slaughtered for exploring Mars' is all I received. "Ghosts of Mars" is not intelligent. It's half-baked, and it truly has nowhere else to go other than to give the heroes 500 more magazines of ammo so they can continue to shoot at an impervious entity rather than take a shuttle back to Earth.

I guess Ice Cube and the poor man's Sandra Bullock are doomed to die by the end of the film.

Surely, it didn't have to be that way.