Black Swan (Aronofsky, 2010)

This film has a solid first half but then goes all over the place. It shoots into the dark and keeps missing me. I didn't care for the teasing of paper-thin themes and lack of follow-up to them, as if each one were a prick of a needle or sonar pings. I got pulled in five different directions without truly going anywhere due to my silent guide that might be blind in one eye. Where are we going, Aronofsky?

This tumble wasn't helped by the excessive horror movie elements and jump scares that feel beneath this production, or the ending that left something to be desired after our irksome dance together. After the Black Swan took flight, I had no clue what flight she was on, but definitely felt pulled over the cliff with her.

In Aronofsky's words, this movie definitely clicked in his head, but not in mine. I find it disappointing that his subjective goal as a director stunted the film from connecting to me as the viewer. Near the end of production, Aronofsky lamented about "all the shots he missed." Alas, I am moping alongside him during our sad dance. If he hadn't missed all those shots, that late barrage of silly scenes could've been avoided. Nina's legs are breaking, and my eyes are rolling.

The overall execution of "Black Swan" is akin to Nina falling in the first act of "Swan Lake." It could have been a dark masterpiece, but lacked the brilliance of clarity. However, I would watch it again for Natalie Portman's performance, the artful presentation, the musical score and the sweet dance choreography.

Road to Perdition (2002, Sam Mendes)

I've heard about it for years, but it was never on TV, and I finally got it from the library. Amid the pile of rentals I'd gotten, the tommy gun that Hanks is carrying on the cover intrigued me more than the others because I generally enjoy mobster flicks. However, after reading the back of the DVD, the last thing I expected was a mob film. It sounded like a drama of some sort with a core relationship between a father and son. I thought Paul Newman was the father, and Tom Hanks was the son, who later had a son of his own. Boy, was I wrong.

The plot boils down to simplicity, but the artful presentation elevates it. Sam Mendes, I presume, was responsible for this elegance. Before long I realized that I was privy to the song and dance that cloaked the bloodstained secrecy of the mob world. One boy's mistake later, and the charade started crumbling apart.

What was left was a revenge story built on family and consequence. I liked how the movie was told by looking into Sullivan's eyes during a chilling car ride, using few words to move the story along in favor of action and tension. As the boy narrator sees it, it could be seen as bonding time between father and son in the face of danger, contrition and ire. There is an enviable moment when the son sticks his head out of the car window as his hair blows in the wind. He is enjoying time with his father that he had never gotten before, even whilst they are on traveling down a path of vengeance. His father isn't a hero, but they both love and need the same things. When those comforts are taken away, the father has his guilt and the boy has a lesson to learn.

Before watching this film, I'd never seen a silent shootout in a rainstorm. The musical score is delicate, and the usage of misdirection (although I have seen it before in Carlito's Way) was done with the same muted brilliance. By its wholesome themes and morals, Road to Perdition was a sweet surprise.

LOL (2012, Lisa Azuelos)

Seriously, that's what the film is called. Her name is Lola, but her friends call her LOL (pronouncing it as if it was a word). I know it may come as a shock or make you 'facepalm', but I like Miley Cyrus and this coming of age flick looked interesting. Overall, it was a very sweet and genuine film about teenagers and the need for family, a nice mixture of wholesome themes and wild adolescence. The people felt real and the humorous discussions among the grown-ups was a delight. Demi Moore was perfect as Miley's mother, and the best-friend-turned boyfriend's band had a catchy song.

BloodRayne (Uwe Boll, 2005) - SPOILERS!

Kristanna Loken may not be the most popular actress in the world, but she is sexy, strong and curvy as the titular ginger hybrid, Rayne. This half-human/half-bloodsucker version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a "dhampir", the accursed result of vampire/human sexual relations which aren't always mutually consensual. I found her name to be amusing because "dhampirs" are immune to what would normally kill a creature of the night (sunlight, i.e. "ray", and water, i.e. "rain").

As a fan of vampire movies, I found BloodRayne to be an enjoyable escape. The action is good, the music is good, and I thought the cast made for a nice game of "Hey, I know them!", including Billy Zane (Titanic), Michelle Rodriguez (several tough chick roles), Michael Madsen (Resovoir Dogs, Donnie Brasco), and big shot Ben Kingsley (who felt slightly above this picture).

That being said, it does have several problems, all of which do not cripple the experience. I felt the length was too short to establish a story of this scale; as a result things are "sped up" if you will and not as believable as they should be. Some things appear to be random or explained only through a few lines of dialogue. Other than Kagan (Kingsley) wanting to become a bigger bad of the vampire world than he already is and the "Brimstone" society being the main opposition to it, every other aspect of the plot feels rushed and ill-conceived.

Firstly, we don't know much about Rayne. How did she come to be part of a grimy carnival? Why didn't she leave it before she eventually does in the film? She is obviously a very effective killing machine, so what stopped her? She is also a knowledgeable vampire slayer, so again, why is she wasting her time with a carnival troupe? Shouldn't she be acquiring plot devices while rolling and flipping past razor sharp CGI?

Secondly, why does she randomly want to devour Sebastian (Matthew Davis) and have a humorous yet amorous sex scene? I'm familiar with vampire hormones being out of control, but there was zero buildup to it. And why would Sebastian allow it? His parents turned into vampires only to be slain shortly thereafter and he has since become a determined vampire slayer. Not only that, but he barely knows her. Is this Romeo & Juliet or something?

Thirdly, during the second act, Rayne is taken in by the Brimstone Society, who proceed to train her in sword fighting. However, before this point, Rayne was killing people left and right, doing backflips and generally looking like an experienced warrior. 1) Where did she learn how to fight? and 2) Why does she need to learn it again? Lastly, from a purely visual/sexual standpoint, when Rayne is given a new (in the slightest sense of the word) set of clothes by the resistance, it is a major downgrade from her previous sexy garb (visible in the picture above). Not only is Loken's body nowhere nearly as well accentuated in it, but her 'new' garb is gray and dull, on par with her getup in Terminator 3.

She even starts wearing her hair in a bun. Again, it's random and unnecessary. The only saving grace is when she strips out of the superior outfit during that sex scene. If the curves have to be covered by loose 'new' attire, then at least they curved their way out first.
Aside from Rayne's superficial depth as the protagonist, Uwe Boll gives a jarring focus to blood spattering which is beyond silly in this film. I'm a fan of gore, but the SAW franchise makes it gruesome. BloodRayne makes it laughable. We can assume someone's body is damaged after being struck by a sword during battle, and sometimes it's cool to see limbs get sliced off, but to see blood squirting every which way was a major distraction from the typical vampire movie traits (darkness, savagery, sex, wickedness) this film also tries to convey. Aside from the killing strokes and the final battle, the choreography isn't the most exciting either.

Other issues include: poor dialogue at times. The 3 major members of the Brimstone Society are never referred to by name until we learn who they are (i.e. if they're good or bad). Then they suddenly start calling each other by name. Moreover, characters don't necessarily have quality purposes. Katarin (Rodriguez) betrays the resistance, which leads to their obliteration, because she wants to steal the precious plot devices everyone else is trying to obtain. She is later killed by Rayne, so what was the point, other than to set up another stupid plot inconvenience? Moreover, there is some chatter about her doing it all for her father (Billy Zane), who also has selfish pursuits but an equally inconsequential role. In fact, he just disappears. I assume he was killed after offering Kagan's right-hand man (Will Sanderson) an alternate goal to pursue.

Anyway, perhaps the silliest prison break ever happens later. After all but two of the Brimstone Society is hacked to pieces, with jarring blood spattering of course, Sebastian & Vladimir (Madsen) intentionally get imprisoned by Kagan's mindless thralls (humans who seek eternal life in exchange for doing the dirty work). Meanwhile, Rayne mindlessly turns herself in as well with the classic "I know something [Kagan] doesn't know" plan instead of just waltzing into his grand castle like the killing machine that she is because Rayne secretly has two of the vital 3 plot devices that will imbue her with a fighting chance (even though the script never explained why Kagan is so powerful), as if she didn't have a fighting chance already. Nevertheless, Sebastian & Vladimir work their own wisdom by fooling a guard into believing Sebastian has vanished from their cell. Why they are in a single cell together when Rayne is in a personal one, I cannot say. But alas, they escape to join the final battle. I was left wondering why these things had to happen, as opposed to the obvious development of the whole resistance taking on Kagan's forces in one last hoorah. It's the classic snowball effect in terms of lazy writing. On the plus side, there is some fitting nudity with a bunch of lustful nude models in a good scene with the vampire version of Meatloaf (yes, Meatloaf).

Overall, BloodRayne (despite its negative reception) was a good vampire flick with the classical elements I've come to love. It would definitely be worth buying if the plot was more intelligently handled and if the annoying hang-ups mentioned above were either cut or improved.

Gosford Park (2001)

Robert Altman invites you on a lengthy, quaint and unhurried cruise (penned to Oscar-winning success by Julian Fellowes) back to 1932 with the upper class, whose petty and vapid lives are thunderstruck by an unexpected murder.

Fine performances from sincere servants and grumpy snobs establish a poignant dichotomy. Maggie Smith is pitiful and amusing as Constance; Clive Owen is aloof and curious as Parks; Kelly MacDonald is cute and timid as Mary.

Gosford Park is a charming albeit tepid tale that ends on a bittersweet note. Brisk dialogue, refreshing wit and posh set design enliven this decorous, gentle and fascinating presentation.